March 23, 2007

Killing US Softly With His WOK


Willie Bobo - Fried Neckbones and Some Homefries
Goodie Mob - Soul Food
Kenny Burrell - Chitlins Con Carne
Horace Andy - Eating Mess
World Famous Upsetters - Cabbage Greens
L. Anderson - Neck Bones and Hot Sauce
Them Prodigals - Cake Time

We all know Chinese take-out isn't good for you. But did you know it was THAT BAD for you? The Center for Science in the Public Interest recently released a study of the nutritional contents of the typical chinese take-out cuisine. Healthy options? Not so much.

Here's what a CSPI nutritionist had to say: “My basic advice to diners is this: Stick with the veggie-rich and stir-fried shrimp or chicken dishes, steer clear of the entrées that are basically deep-fried meat or chicken in sauce, and don’t waste your calories on greasy noodles and fried rice.”

I'm sure your kids are salivating. Who goes to the Chinese take-out for vegetables?


The chicken wings and fried rice combo is that ish when you're searching for a lunch special and your moms only gave you 3 dollars. They'll cut your wings for you. They'll squirt hot sauce and barbeque sauce on your wings. All that for $2.75. God bless America. As a bonus, you'll get enough salt for two days. If you grab a couple Yi-Pin soy sauces, you'll get four days worth of salt. In my book, that's an effin' BARGAIN.

YOU do the math.

You have a QUARTER leftover for dessert. You'll need to find the nearest bodega. Don't fret, you've got CHOICES. You can go for the nickel Swedish fish (five of 'em). Or, you can get one QUARTER water (yes, it's a dessert). Or, you can get one Lil Debbie oatmeal cream pie. If you skip school on Monday and Friday, you can have a different dessert for every school lunch!

It doesn't end there. The Chinese take-out offers even more bargains for your kids. You can always go for the $1.25 large fries. If they squirt enough FREE ketchup on it, you got your vegetables too. Free ketchup and $1.75 in your pockets. Life is good.

This is America, we have the freedom to make our own choices. With your extra change do you go for the 50 cent honey-bun or splurge on the 2-cookies-for-99-cents?

8 Comments:

Blogger froz1 said...

Crazy you bring this up vik, just had a similar conversation with somebody the other day. You can't walk two blocks without seeing 1 or more Chinese rests in my neighborhood.

6:00 PM  
Blogger froz1 said...

ooh... almost forgot to mention that the chinese rests in philly have taken it one step further and created the "cheesesteak eggroll"... thats right folks, a cheesesteak in an eggroll...

9:05 PM  
Blogger vik said...

froz1 is in the BUILDING!

yeah, they are everywhere, and they'll make you damn near anything. as long as it needs msg and oil.

a CHEESESTEAK Eggroll. damn. that is wrong on so many levels.

but...i bet that ish tastes good.....
nah....

11:35 AM  
Blogger Dallas said...

Heee larious!

The wings x fried rice IS that classic 'hood casserole

9:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Y DO THEY MAKE IT SO IRRESISTIBLE...AND THEY TAKE FOOD STAMPS, SMH. MMM EGG ROLLS!

1:56 PM  
Anonymous ARIANNA said...

THE BRONX HAS THE BEST CHINESE FOOD, DAMN THEM...

1:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hum i am spending sometimes ilford London UK. i take the bus home. from my work place to my house there are 28 chinese takeaways in between there areother turkish or greek fastfood i counted em when i was bored.

4:37 PM  
Blogger vik said...

@anon -

i feel you my dude. my cousin was in from out of town, and as we walked up the street he mentioned...

there's a chinese place on every block.

and i replied....

welcome to new york city, specifically the BRONX

1:34 AM  

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