Cheney All Over the World

Separated at birth? Damn, the resemblance between these two pics is uncanny.
London Symphony Orchestra - Imperial March
Metallica - Imperial March

The chickens (tried to) come home to roost. Or something like that. Cheney emerged from his underground lair this week to remind the world that the USofA still runs this rap ish. How was he received? American approval ratings be damned! Cheney decided to see check up on his international comrades.

Upon arrival in Japan, Japan's defense minister was noted as saying "starting the Iraq war was a mistake" and who had also "insisted Americans would not back a 'policy of retreat.'" That wouldn't hold Cheney back. Off to Australia!

Cheney, upon arrival, was greeted by a barrage of Australian protesters. Being used to these sort of things, he carried on to his press conference: "I don't see any prospects of damage to the alliance....I think this alliance has been solid. We fought together in every major conflict for the last 100 years. We do from time to time, as all governments do, have differences of opinion on various and sundry alliances but I think the alliance is rock solid." However, according to the Melbourne Herald Sun: "Sorry Dick, but no."

Cheney brushed his shoulders and headed to China. Surely, he'll meet with a better reception here, despite raising concerns over China's increased miltary budget. When asked about Cheney's remarks, China's defense minister Qin Gang replied, "If someone always tears through your clothes and even wants to lift open your underwear, saying 'Let me see what's inside', how would you feel? Would you want to call the police?" Ummmm. No Weezy F Baby.

No problem, let's check up on Afghanistan. Remember that place?

Yeah, Cheney headed right for a bomb shelter, when the words suicide bomber were yelled. However, did you know that we knew of the threat facing Cheney before it occurred? “We know for a fact that there has been recent intelligence to suggest that there was the threat of a bombing in the Bagram area,” the spokesman, Col. Tom Collins, said at a news briefing in Kabul. Has the administration become so desperate for APPROVAL that it would set itself up for attack?

YOU BE THE JUDGE.

As a supremacy sidenote: the plane that Cheney has been touring the world with is called "The Spirit of Strom Thurmond." Seriously. I WISH I could make this ish up.