Out of Sight + Out of Mind = The Perfect Vacation

Curtis Mayfield - The Other Side of Town
Bill Withers - Take It ALL In and Check It All Out
Artifakts - The Wrong Side of da Tracks
Beres Hammond - Another Day in the System

Looking to temporarily escape the madness? Trying to forget your troubles? It's time to leave the city and head out to an exotic island. An island where the natives serve you. An island where you can safely negrify yourself and get those "corn rows" you've heard so much about. An island where the natives leave your white teenage daughters alone.

Don't sleep on HAITI.

Those pesky "facts" may tell you that Haiti is the poorest nation in the Western Hemispere. Yeah, the median age is only 18.2 years. Yeah, more than 1 out of every 20 Haitians are infected with HIV/AIDS.

But can the "facts" describe the pristene beauty of a private beach? Exactly.

Perhaps, Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines spokesman Dave Scott can help explain: "You think of Haiti, you think of poverty. You think of violence. You think of politics. You think of a suppressed people. But when they actually sail into the bay and they see the pristine sand and the blue seas and the smiling people, their whole attitude changes.”

Exactly.

The United Nations may have troops stationed in Port-au-Prince, but that shouldn't stop you from walking the beautiful, virgin beaches. You know, the beaches that are fenced from the actual Haitians. The beaches that are under constant surveillance by armed guards.

I'll let Haitian tourism minister, Patrick Delatour explain: “Yes, there is violence in Port-au-Prince. But you could sleep on the beach in Jacmel and you’d be safe.”

Exactly.

Yeah, there's violence. Yes, there's death. Yes, AIDS is endemic. Yes, poverty is a way of life.

But, eff it. You won't SEE any of it. If a tree falls and no one's around to hear it, did it make a sound? Hell to the NO! However, if you do decide to leave the fenced-in, secured tourist-only compounds, you have to present your passport and sign a waiver. Just a minor detail, according to Royal Caribbean.

We'll let tourist Helen Murphy explain: “I don’t want to see poverty. I’m on vacation. I don’t want to think that these people don’t have enough to eat.”

Exactly.