Straight Outta Congress, A Crazy Mutha Named MC Rove

It's nearly impossible to describe what happened at the Radio and Television Correspondent's Dinner last night. Karl Rove transformed into "MC Rove" and showed the world that he truly does understand the intricacies of Black culture. How did he express these feelings? Song and dance, of course. According to Rove's rap and dance, race relations are doing just fine in America. If you don't believe MC Rove, just ask the token Black guy dancing in the background. He can also tell you how in-sync the Bush administration is with today's "urban youth."

THE ROVE RAP

Now listen up suckers
Don't get the jitters
But MC Rove tears the heads off critters.

That's true, it's cruel to see
But he's gonna be about animal cruelty.
He's a man, he's a treasure trove.
Tell me what is your name?
I'm MC Rove.

That's right he can't be beat,
Because he so white from his head to his feet.
But he will rap it when you give him a chance
Look at him move doing a rappin' dance.

That's true, he's a dancing resident
He is the side-kick to the president.
Tell me what is your name?
MC Rove.

That's true he's crossing his arms,
He rapping and a chilling and showing his charm.
He will do it without fail,
Get out his gun cuz he's shooting quail.

That man will never stop
Look at him jumping up and down,
Ready to hop.

He's got so much to prove,
Tell me you never knew that this man could move.
Doing the dance,
The Karl Rove dance.

Dancing and talking, dancing and talking (repeat)
You were such a helpful treasure trove
Tell me what is your name?
MC Rove.

See him later hanging in the cove
Tell me what is your name?
MC Rove.

If you haven't thrown up in your mouth, you can check the video of MC Rove in concert (via THE RAP UP).

BIOCHEMICAL SLANG BONUS: Check out these choice quotes from the ruler of this rap ish G DUBBZ:

• I'd like to thank Senator Webb for providing security.
• Well, where should I start? A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days.
• Sorry the Vice President couldn't be here. He's had a rough few weeks. To be honest, his feelings are kind of hurt. He said he was going on vacation to Afghanistan, where people like him.
• I have 664 days left in the White House. So technically, I'm a temporary guest worker.
• Considering what's next -- President Clinton, of course, wrote a very successful presidential memoir, with 10,000 pages or something. I'm thinking of something really fun and creative for mine -- you know, maybe a pop-up book. I'm considering a number of titles -- Which do you like? "How W Got His Groove Back." "Who Moved My Presidency?" Or, "Tuesdays With Cheney"?
• People Magazine recently had a photo of the Senator [Obama] there on the beach in Hawaii, his sleek, hairless pecs glistening in the surf.
• I have to admit we really blew the way we let those attorneys go.

The truth hurts. The truth hurts so bad it makes you wanna laugh. It'll make you laugh so hard, you'll have no idea you're crying.