January 23, 2007

A Message to G DUBBZ


The Clash - I'm So BORED With the USA

Here's some pointers for your big speech tonite:
1. Keep it simple. For your sake, as well as ours.
2. Mention 9/11, as often as possible.
3. When you mention 9/11, don't mention the the whole first-responders-dying-thing.
4. Try to minimize the mentioning of the whole crisis-in-Iraq-thing.
5. Use words like surge, sacrifice, and freedom.
6. Be sure to mention GAYS and ABORTIONS and STEM-CELLS.
7. Try to disregard the whole clusterfuck-in-New-Orleans-thing.
8. Bring up issues without discussing how you will actually FACE them (these can include, but are not limited to health care, unemployment, corporate corruption, disenfranchisement, national security breaches, minorities, urban education, racial tension, affordable housing, and the overstepping of power by the executive branch).
9. Be sure to zip your fly (NO MARK FOLEY).
10. Thank Jesus.

7 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Coping strategy:
http://www.drinkinggame.us/

11:32 AM  
Anonymous CB4 said...

Don't get your hopes up for number 4... he wants to send in more troops, and is DEFINITELY gonna talk about it tonight... although he probably WILL avoid the word "crisis"...

11:37 AM  
Blogger Amadeo said...

That last pic is pretty accurate in describing his administration.

1:54 PM  
Blogger vik said...

true. i love how the guy behind g dubbz can't WAIT for his turn.

extra no mark foley

5:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The guy to the left is Sweden's former prime minister, btw.

7:26 PM  
Blogger vik said...

anon - damn. you learn something new everyday.

maybe this is why bush has such a hard time with foreign policy issues.

double no lance bass.

just to be safe, extra no doogie howser

7:53 PM  
Blogger er3bus said...

BRO , AMAZING BLOG HERE.

8:01 AM  

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