January 11, 2007

The Power of the OFF Switch: YOUR Votes are In

James Brown - Talkin' Loud and Saying Nothin'
Black Ice - A Dream Transferred
Horace Andy - God is Displeased
Wilson Pickett - You Can't Stop a Man in Love

Flavor of Love proved to be a great return on VH1's initial investment. Granted, VH1 must've had a bit of trepidation about the show, before WE tuned in. Who'da thunk a show that revolves around a has-been, cracked-out rapper lookin' for love would've garnered record-breaking numbers. Minstrelsy, saliva, stereotypes, whorish behavior, and costume jewelry came together in a way that it never had before.

And we loved every minute of it. All 7.5 million of us. VH1 investors were happy. Money was made. Black people are STILL different from white people. The VH1 board of execs breathed a sigh of relief, smoked a cigar, and ordered another round of buffoonery. They got kids to send to college and a mortgage to pay, ya know.

The VH1 execs offered us another plate of black-people-are-different-from-white-people idiocy. Like the LEMMINGS we are, we jumped down the cliff and lapped up their offering, all while VH1 execs cashed their checks. 4.43 MILLION Americans, aged 18-49, tuned in to watch "I Love New York," a VH1 record for a debut show.

The score, so far: VH1 execs 2, American public ZERO. YOU do the math.

And the cycle continues. Unfortunately, we don't plummet to our deaths when we take that plunge of the cliff. Yeah, we may have a couple of bumps and bruises, but we'll climb right back to the top and JUMP all over again for the next "reality" series or black-people-are-different-from-white-people "comedy." The pain of stereotypes, the slaps of supremacy, and the kicks of the status quo. Yeah, they hurt, but it's JUST entertainment, right?

The solution? Turn off the mothereffin' radio. Turn off the mothereffin' television. The ballot comes around once a year. Your wallet is your greatest weapon. An investment with no return is as good as dead.

Biochemical Slang's 3-Step Mini-Empowerment Program:
1. Spending your money at Company X implies you agree with EVERYTHING Company X stands for and practices.
2. Time is money. Spending time watching TV is making someone else rich.
3. Throw away ALL of your remotes and replace them with the Biochemical Slang UNIVERSAL remote, pictured below.


Blogger Amadeo said...


12:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you seen the other new VH1 show, that White Rapper bull?? All of those kids are regurjitating (sp) lines from their favorite rappers, and so many of them have this ego that its like damn, someone def needs to wake them up.

3:06 PM  

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